Banter or bullying? Woman seeks help after partners friends call her a whale

Being body confident isn’t something that comes easy for most of us. Many of us have something we dislike about ourselves whether it’s our frizzy hair or the extra bit of weight we carry on our tummy.

The last thing you need is someone pointing out these insecurities. One woman was beyond upset when she discovered that her partner’s friends had been mocking her over her weight in a private group chat.

She explained to Mumsnet that her partner had asked her to check his phone to see if his mum had texted, but when she clicked into the home screen, notifications popped up from his friends.

They fat-shamed the woman and even called her a whale. She wrote: “His group chat popped up-saying I must crush DP when we have sex, and that they can't believe he'd go out with me- must be ashamed etc.”

The woman, who is a size 14/16, said she has struggled with weight most of her life. She confronted her boyfriend about the messages but he said his friends were just messing and he then warned his friends to stop.

She continued: “I did send them a message when it happened saying how hurtful it was, and that I've only ever been nice to them. They replied with a half-arsed ‘sorry, it was only a joke.'”

The comments have stopped the woman from socialising with her partner’s friends, “He said that they're sorry, and that it's just 'lad banter' which in my eyes makes it even viler, and that I can't be upset as I was never meant to see it.”

Despite her partner’s efforts, he said he cannot control what his friends say. The issue is now causing major tension between the woman and her partner.

The woman explained that they have a wonderful relationship, but she is now thinking about ending things because her partner was really weak regarding sticking up for her.

What would you do?