Comparisons between new mums and their babies with you and yours are normal and a part of our evolutionary nature but they’re not necessarily a good thing. While you are naturally inclined to want your child to be the best, it’s often healthier to accept that all children develop at their own pace.
One of the biggest comparison issues for new mums are developmental milestones. However, if you remember that milestones are reached within an age range, and not by a specific month, week or year, it’s easier to deal with comparisons. Also, bear in mind that while your child may lag in one area, he or she may be ahead in another. Make every effort to boost your child’s development and be aware of any potential problems but try not to compare your child with others if everything is on track.
Another common point of comparison is sleep. Some mums will tell you that their two month old is sleeping through, while your six month old still wakes regularly during the night. Rather than feeling envious or jealous, it’s best to focus on finding sleep tricks that work for you and your child and to accept that some children take longer than others to start sleeping through. Also remember that even children who start sleeping through early might change their sleep patterns when they start teething
Personal comparisons are another comparison that most new mums dread. We all know at least one mum who seems to be able to cope with a baby, keep her relationship with her ultra supportive partner strong, and her house spotless. If you’re tired, overwhelmed and busy, then it’s only natural that your house may be untidy. Don’t think that you should be super mum just because you know someone who is. It’s okay if your home isn’t perfect. However if your partner is less than supportive then you need to speak to him and make sure that he understands his responsibilities. Relationships take work and if you’re doing the bulk of it, it’s only natural that something has to give! Make time for your partner, and for yourself, and remember that nobody is perfect – even your friends who claim to be!