Men and women go through very different emotions when they experience a miscarriage, and while it is not surprising that the woman is offered the most support, it is important to realise that men need help too.
If your partner or a male friend has experienced the pain of a miscarriage, here are six ways you can help and support them:
1. Let him grieve
Make sure he knows that it is ok to grieve. While he may be trying to stay strong for his partner, keeping his emotions hidden can make him feel a lot worse.
2. Make sure he doesn’t feel pressure to get over it quickly
It can take a long time for things to get back to normal after experiencing a miscarriage, so make sure he doesn’t feel like he needs to rush through it. It is perfectly normal for him to think he is ok only to feel immense sadness a few days or even weeks later.
3. Encourage him to be open
A miscarriage can bring a couple closer together or drive them apart as they grieve in different ways, so it is important he is open and honest with how he is feeling. If he doesn't want to talk to his other half, encourage him to speak with friends or family or to contact a support group.
4. Make sure he knows there is no right or wrong way to cope
There is no right or wrong way to cope when you have experienced a miscarriage – how you grieve or handle the situation is entirely different for every person. Encourage him to embrace his feelings and not to rush through them.
5. Encourage him to talk about it
While it is easier for a woman to feel connected to her baby before it is born, a man can feel like they have not yet managed to develop that bond. However, help him to talk about how he feels – even if he’s more upset about his partner's feelings than he is about the actual miscarriage.
6. Tell him he doesn’t need to fix it
It is in a man’s nature to want to fix things even if the thing is question is not something that can be fixed. He is not expected to act or be a certain way - make sure he understands this.