Mum-of-two and domestic violence activist Emma Murphy appeared on the Late Late Show yesterday and sent a powerful message about victim blaming.
The Dublin mum went viral in 2015 when she shared a video on Facebook about her harrowing experience with domestic violence. In the video, she has a visible black eye and eloquently tells her heartbreaking story.
Her ex-partner, a former TV fitness instructor named Francis Usanga, had on several occasions violently attacked Emma, including one incident where he punched her in front of their children after she confronted him about his infidelity. Her bravery moved many others who also felt trapped in situations where they suffered at the hands of their partners.
Looking back at the 2015 video, Emma noted, "I was putting myself out there in such a vulnerable position."
"I was just a mess so putting yourself out there on social media was a huge thing but I did it because I wanted to be happy," she said,"I just wanted to be happy. I knew that I would never go back there. I knew that was it, that was the final door for me. Posting this video was my escape, I knew from the moment I pressed post that that was it."
"It's a disgrace" - @enmmamurphy on the slow progress of domestic violence cases through the courts and why victim blaming needs to stop #latelate pic.twitter.com/FjDSIcjLxn
— The Late Late Show (@RTELateLateShow) 8 December 2017
Besides escape, the mum also found some justice in the courtroom.
Francis, who denied attacking Emma, was found guilty of attacking her this October. He is now serving 100 hours of community service in lieu of five months in jail.
The 28-year-old mum is grateful for the guilty verdict, but told Ryan Tubridy that she found the slow speed of justice in the courts to be 'a disgrace'.
"My mental health, up and down, up and down, walking in and out of courtrooms," Emma said on the Late Late Show, "I never want to see a courtroom ever again."
She continued, "If it wasn’t for the detective dealing with my case, I probably wouldn't have got through this. The guards were amazing and I can’t thank them enough."
Embracing every moment! #tedx #tedxspeaker pic.twitter.com/nJOuXR4swH
— Emma Murphy (@enmmamurphy) 12 November 2017
Emma also expressed her frustration with the culture of victim blaming in Ireland, saying, "Victim blaming in Ireland is really, really bad. Constantly we are blaming victims."
The courageous mum noted that we need to frame these conversations differently if we are to change things for the better.
"‘Why didn’t she leave? Why did she accept that? Why didn’t she walk away the first time?’ Why don’t we change that around and start asking the question of ‘Why did he hit her? Why did he do this?’ Because that’s a choice," Emma said.
The activist went on to say that we need to speak more openly about domestic abuse in our society, stating,"Wherever we can talk about this, have this conversation."
She also impressed the importance of teaching our children about love and respect from an early age.
Thank you for speaking out, Emma. You give hope and strength to domestic violence survivors everywhere.
