Not everyone is lucky enough to have a mother-in-law who they enjoy having a cup of coffee with or who you are more than willing to leave your kids with. For some, their relationship with their partner’s mother can be a little fraught, especially when it comes to parenting.


Here are five tips to help you get along or develop a relationship with your mother-in-law:


Visit often

Make sure you visit your partner’s mother regularly – sometimes it can take a while to develop a relationship with a person and the more times you are in contact with them the better. Unless of course visits leave you more stressed out than you care to think.


Talk to your partner

Talk to your partner about how their mum makes you feel. They might be able to have a quiet word with them or explain to you their reasons behind their attitude, helping you understand why they are the way they are.


Give them a little leeway

Being a grandparent is incredibly special and spoiling grandkids is all part of the job. If the reason behind your dislike or fraught relationship is down to how they spoil your kids give them a little leeway – that’s what grandparents are for.


Stand up for yourself

Make sure you stand up for yourself because doing otherwise will leave you feeling frustrated and annoyed, not just at yourself but at everyone else. If your mother-in-law is criticising you for doing certain things explain to her why you are doing them and be forceful yet kind that that is the way you like things done.


Empathise with her

Their need to help and advise you on parenting might be their way of trying to find a place in your family dynamic. Remember, standing up for yourself doesn’t mean you have to alienate or belittle others, so try to empathise with her as best you can.