It is important for parents to remind their tweens not to give in to peer-pressure. It might seem like everyone around them is having sex, but in actual fact, that it not the case. The sexual behaviours portrayed in films and TV is not a reflection of reality and it is likely that friends who claim to have sex all the time are not telling the truth.
Why would you say no?
There are plenty of reasons why someone would want to say no to sex. They might want to get to know the person before making such a big decision. Some might even want to have more life experience and be in a committed relationship before having sex. Others are simply not ready.
Those who have had sex before, but are not comfortable having sex with a new partner will want to restrain from sex for a while. This is perfectly okay, whatever decision they wish to make is completely valid, even if someone’s had sex before, they will always have the right to say no.
What’s your comfort zone?
In the heat of the moment, tweens might find it difficult to stop something from going further than they want it to. That’s why they should consider what they’re comfortable with before hormones start raging.
Some will feel ready to kiss and touch, while touching under clothes is still a no-no. Whatever a tween’s comfort zone, it is important that they stick to it.
How to say no
Be clear and direct. They can simply say “I don’t want to do that because I’m not comfortable with it”
If the person refuses to accept what they are being told, they should be firm and distance themselves from the person.
Some people will try to use manipulation and say “if you loved me you would....” or “everyone else is doing it.” A tween should NEVER fall for any of these lines, because if their partner really cared, they would respect each and every one of your tweens decisions.
Remember, nobody should feel pressured to do something they are not comfortable doing, whether it’s sex or not, everyone has a right to say no.