I need some advice. My husband died four years ago after a long battle with cancer, leaving my and our son and daughter behind. He was the absolute love of my life and we were together since we were 16 and really happy during the 15 years we had together.
For a long time after he died, I was just trying to get from one day to the next, trying to keep things together and be a rock for the kids.
Last year my friends began to gently suggest I should start dating again, which seemed like an unthinkable idea. It felt like such a betrayal to him. When we married, we were going to be together forever and he was my soul mate.
Over the last few months I’ve been thinking that maybe I should date. It’s not that I feel like I really want to – I just think it’s probably the healthy thing to do. I have felt lonely although it’s normally lonely for my husband. There’s a nice man in the office I work in who has made his feelings clear. We’re good friends and he’s attractive but I feel really guilty every time I think about it.
I also don’t know how my kids will take it. They’re 13 and 11, which still seems really young and I don’t know how to explain it to them without it looking like I’m betraying their dad. Also I don’t want to upset their lives by introducing them to different men because obviously not every relationship works out and I want their home to be stable.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Am I being selfish and should I wait until the kids are older?