Myself and my husband have been together for 6 years and have 2 beautiful children (4 years and 18 months). A few months before we got together, he got another woman pregnant and has a 6yo son with her. They arranged a child support agreement at the time that was really generous because she was minding the boy full time. Now the child is 6 and in school and the ex is refusing to work.
I had to return to work a few months after giving birth to both of mine because we couldn’t afford for me to stay at home. Raising 2 children and paying a mortgage is expensive and we also have a big chunk to pay to her.
I was understanding before their son started school because childcare is obviously so expensive, but now that he’s in school most days, she should be able to get a job. She won’t renegotiate the amount my husband and me are paying her and says he’s required to support her decision to be a stay-at-home mum because he’s the child’s father. She says that she’ll take legal action if we stop paying the regular amount.
We’re lucky that our children are minded by their grandmothers 4 days a week and then we pay for a childminder on the fifth day, so childcare isn’t that expensive for us. They offered to mind my husband’s son along with ours (my mum views him as her grandchild as he’s often in the house and on family trips) so she wouldn’t be stuck with childcare costs.
However the ex says she wants to be a stay-at-home mum and wouldn’t accept the offer. I’d love to do the same, but I can’t and I feel she should have the same attitude. Doing that is a luxury these days and it’s unfair she’s putting an extra burden on us.
Am I being really unreasonable?