September is International Women’s Friendship month, which means it is your time to have a coffee or even a glass of wine with the girls. When you become a mum, friendships can change, however, before you say good bye to your non-mum friends, here are five things you can do to keep those relationships intact.
Don’t be too busy for a chat
It can be hard to make yourself available when you have a family to look after, home to keep and a job to go to, but never be too busy for a chat. If you are constantly turning down calls or texting back with ‘I’m busy, I’ll call later’ and never actually calling, don’t expect them to keep trying. Whenever you do have five spare minutes whether you are outside the school waiting for your child to come out, pick up the phone and have a quick chat. A short conversation is better than no conversation.
Keep things in perspective
Just because little Jimmy didn’t get a gold medal at sports day doesn’t mean you can monopolise the conversation with your troubles. Friendship works both ways. While it is ok to vent your own frustrations, let them do the same. Their troubles are no less significant than yours.
Go out with and without the kids
While it can be hard to go out without the kids, make the effort to do it. Even for just an hour or so. This way you can give your friend your undivided attention and as a bonus you will be able to drink your coffee before it goes cold. However, you don’t need to leave the kids at home all the time. A true friend will love spending time with them just as much as you do. A day trip to the zoo or the park is a great way for everyone to have fun - any excuse to go see the elephants to be honest.
Don’t overload them with mum things
We know, being a mum brings all kinds of joys that you want to share with the world, and while friends will celebrate and rejoice with you, they don’t necessarily want to do it. Every. Single. Time. A non-mum won’t understand just where your excitement of your little one using the toilet for the first time is coming from, but that doesn’t mean they won’t be happy for you.
Understand that not all friendships can survive
It is important you are realistic and understand that not all friendships can survive dramatic changes. While it is not necessarily a sudden thing, over time, people can drift as each concentrates on their own commitments and priorities – if the friendship is strong enough it will survive.