Are you finding it an ongoing battle dealing with your angry tween?
Unless you are an extremely lucky parent, your tween, even the mildest mannered ones will exhibit anger occasionally. However, if you stop to consider all the social, physical and emotional changes that your tween is going through, it’s really no wonder they are prone to the occasional outburst. It helps to consider your child’s point of view when you’re going to respond to anger and all the other complex emotions your tween displays.
Tweens and Anger: What Causes It?
Tweens have a lot going on, from the mounting pressures of school, homework, changing relationships, peer pressure and puberty.
Tweens are also changing physically at a rapid rate; their bodies are growing, hormones are changing and their brains are developing.
However, tweens are not always able to cope with all these dramatic changes and anger is often the result.
Tweens may erupt in anger at the smallest thing, a lost shoe, a bad test result, an argument with a friend or a request from a parent to set the table.
The occasional outburst is normal and no cause for worry but you should consider speaking to your paediatrician if your child hurts herself, others or damages property.
How to respond to angry outbursts
Help your child deal with angry outbursts by:
Keeping your cool when your tween tries to talk to you, displaying anger will only serve to increase her anger.
Listen first and foremost; avoid offering suggestions until your tween has talked it through first.
Don’t dismiss what your child is feeling even if it seems trivial to you.
Try to keep in mind that your tween may not be angry; he may in fact be disappointed, scared, upset or embarrassed. Anger is often an easier emotion to deal with, so by helping him to understand his emotions this will help him learn how to cope in the future.
It might seem obvious, but try to ensure that your tween is getting enough sleep. A tired child will be more prone to outbursts of anger.
Allow your child to blow off some steam every once in a while but don’t fuel the fire as you don’t want to make him even angrier.
Overlook the small outbursts as they are perfectly normal and all a part of growing up. Learn how to let the little things go.
