When comedian and actor Patton Oswalt and his new fiancée, actress Meredith Salenger, announced their engagement online, they hoped their fans would share in their happiness.
Meredith posted a photo of herself hugging Oswalt’s eight-year-old daughter Alice, along with a snap of her engagement ring, and the cute handwritten proposal to Twitter.
“It's official. I'm the luckiest happiest girl in the universe,” she gushed. “I love you @pattonoswalt and I love you, Alice Oswalt.”
However, not everyone was happy about their engagement, and some fans tweeted expressing their disapproval at Patton proposing a little over a year after his first wife, Michelle Mc Namara, died.
“It’s too soon,” one Twitter user wrote, while another blasted the couple as “disrespectful”.
It's official. I'm the luckiest happiest girl in the universe!!!!I love you @pattonoswalt I love you Alice Oswalt! pic.twitter.com/6V6JnQ0XKJ
— Meredith Salenger (@MeredthSalenger) July 6, 2017
When widow and mum Erica Roman saw the hate the newly-engaged couple were receiving online, she felt compelled to write a powerful essay sharing her thoughts on the matter.
Erica lost her husband at the same time as Michelle died, and watching Patton talk about his loss helped her deal with her own grief.
An angry Erica addressed the trolls, writing: “You aren’t entitled to an opinion. You don’t get to comment on the choices of a widower while you sit happily next to your own living spouse.
“You didn’t have to stand and watch your mundane morning turn into your absolute worst nightmare.
“You didn’t have to face the agony of despair, and the only person who could possibly bring you comfort had been ripped from your life forever.
My response to some of the ignorant comments Ive seen about @pattonoswalt 's engagement.#hislife #notyours #shutithttps://t.co/lV5DRauguy
— Erica Roman (@EricaRoman_) July 7, 2017
“You didn’t have to stand in the ashes of what was once your life when the sun itself darkened and the very air you breathed felt toxic in your lungs.
“Go back to scrolling Facebook, and keep your ignorance to yourself.”
The brave mum pointed out that the grieving experience is unique to each individual, and onlookers should not judge what they don’t understand.
“How long should a widow sit in isolation before YOU are comfortable enough to release them from their solitary confinement? Because it’s really about you, isn’t it? You aren’t actually concerned about the heart of the person who has found the strength and courage to love once more.”
She added: “We’ve gone through hell fire and lived. We don’t need your negativity in our lives.
Thank you for your kind words and the signal boost! @pattonoswalt https://t.co/opkRtgtRlx
— Erica Roman (@EricaRoman_) July 10, 2017
“So please, if what you have to say about a widow or widower finding love again isn’t supportive and encouraging, then keep it to yourself. We aren’t interested in hearing it.”
Patton shared Erica’s essay on his Twitter, explaining that Erica had captured the “rage” he felt at trolls vilifying him for moving on from his loss.
We wish the couple the best of luck for the future.
