After the initial shock of finding out you are pregnant – planned or not - you usually start spreading the good news when you feel ready to share.
Everyone is happy to hear your news, and they congratulate you both on being parents-to-be. Once the excitement has settled down , where do fathers see or place themselves in this journey?
Every journey is different for each dad, some throw themselves into researching and informing themselves and their partner on every aspect of this pregnancy as it progresses. Others feel it's all about their partner and the baby as she is the one physically carrying the baby and may tend to take a back seat and let their partner lead the way, but will attend and support as necessary and will promise to be there when the time arrives.
Some fathers feel out of their depth and feel that they don’t want to be at the birth, but they won’t divulge that information in case they look like they are not giving 100% support to their partner.
Yes, mum may be carrying the baby yet to be born but dads are an integral part of the journey - from preconception right through to the birth and beyond, their needs are as important as much as those of the mother and the child. This new family unit need to be unified as well as each person having their own needs heard and met. It's a unique shared experience for all.
Each person should outlay their fears, wants and desires early on in the pregnancy so each person can be heard, respected and a bond of love and trust can develop, encircling all three in this journey -mother, father and baby - to make it a positive healthy experience for all involved.