You expect to feel glowing, serene and at peace with the world once you see that positive pregnancy test. But sometimes it can be very disconcerting when people DON'T talk about the realities of the ups and downs you go through when you get pregnant.
Yes, it is a miracle. Yes, I felt very grateful and excited. But guess what? I also felt overwhelmed, nervous and oh-so-tired for those 9 long months.
Bringing life into this world is a blessing, but it is ok to feel everything else that comes with that responsibility. That's why we have put together a list of all the things we wish we had known before taking that big first step - conception.
1. It usually doesn't happen on a bed of roses
2. You will have to surrender part of yourself.
3. Take advice with a pinch of salt
4. Sometimes the books DON'T help
5. Look after your body
Naturally, you have built up this moment for a very long time. The decision to create a baby together is huge. You have taken all your pre-pregnancy supplements, you have folic acid coming out your ears and have been eating fish and vegetables by the dozens to prepare your body for the path ahead. Then it doesn't happen immediately and you start to get mildly frustrated. That stubborn pregnancy test REFUSES to turn positive. The natural instinct is to question what is wrong with your body? For some, it takes even longer and that is when the romantic side sometimes gets slightly sidelined with dates and temperatures and positions and short fuses. But we are here to tell you that often, that is all part of it - it is never going to be straightforward, and your time will come. I wish I had known this before I started analysing my biological function and putting pressure on my relationships.
It would have been useful to understand that pregnancy is also about surrender - surrender to the hormones that are about to flood your body once you get pregnant. You will have to surrender control of your shape, your blood pressure and bye-bye toes! I'd have like to have been more prepared for feeling like a vessel most of the time - especially on hospital visits when you get prodded and poked and told to pee on demand. It is all worth it in the end, but it takes some getting used to the fact that this may be YOUR pregnancy but at the end of the day, it is all about that little life that is curled up inside of you.
I was told to do one thing to have a girl, and another if I wanted a boy. I was told not to eat certain things and then told to eat others. I was given so many pieces of conflicting pieces of advice from well-wishers that I wasn't sure what do and it made me question my own instincts. I would have loved someone to have explained to me that ultimately, my way will be the best way because I will be comfortable with it.
And by the way, making mistakes is all part of the process.
My partner's pregnancy book was basically one giant high five about becoming a dad. Mine was an Encyclopedia of fear, listing every possible affliction that could happen to a pregnant woman. From a torn placenta to ectopic pregnancy symptoms - it was quite overwhelming. Yes, it is useful to know all these things but also, the amount of information about what COULD go wrong took up a lot of unnecessary worrying time during my pregnancy.
It is about to undergo the biggest transition ever. Your body will do things in the coming weeks that you can't even imagine possible. After the birth, you will look back in awe and fascination about its capabilities. I wish I looked after myself a little bit better before I even conceived. I would have packed it with the best nutrition and vitamins possible, in order to prepare for the amazing journey that is pregnancy.
Good luck everyone - it is the best, most life-changing and beautiful thing you will ever do.
