Comedian Patton Oswalt took to social media today to share the slow and painful journey he has been on since his wife suddenly passed away in April.

 

102 days ago, acclaimed crime writer, Michelle McNamara died in her sleep at just 46 years old leaving behind the couple’s seven-year-old daughter.

 

 

Patton posted about his grief since then on Facebook saying:

 

"Thanks, grief.

 

"Thanks for making depression look like the buzzing little bully it always was. 

 

“Depression is the tallest kid in the 4th grade, dinging rubber bands off the back of your head and feeling safe on the playground, knowing that no teacher is coming to help you.

 

“But grief? Grief is Jason Statham holding that 4th grade bully's head in a toilet

 

“Grief makes depression cower behind you and apologize for being such a dick.”

 

 

102 days after the passing of his wife, Patton says he has not learned anything, or found closure. He does not have perspective or “a new sense of self”. But what he does have is amazing support from family and friends.

 

“You will have been shown new levels of humanity and grace and intelligence by your family and friends.

 

“They will show up for you, physically and emotionally, in ways which make you take careful note, and say to yourself, ‘Make sure to try to do that for someone else someday.’

 

“Complete strangers will send you genuinely touching messages on Facebook and Twitter or will somehow figure out your address to send you letters which you’ll keep and re-read ’cause you can’t believe how helpful they are.”

 

 

Leaving behind her unfinished book “The Golden State Killer” Michelle’s husband decided to use whatever energy he had to finish the book that would add to her legacy.

 

“Any spare energy I've managed to summon since April 21st I've put toward finishing Michelle's book. With a lot of help from some very amazing people. It will come out.

 

“I will let you know. It's all her. We're just taking what's there and letting it tell us how to shape it. It's amazing.”

 

 

At the end of his devastatingly honest post, Patton told fans that he does plan on getting back to work at making people smile again.

 

“I'm going to start telling jokes again soon. And writing. And acting in stuff and making things I like and working with friends on projects and do all the stuff I was always so privileged to get to do.”

 

 

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