Children soak up everything. This is one of the key messages of mum Terri Peters’ open letter to the woman who recently ‘insulted her daughter’s hair’, telling her that she would be ‘as pretty’ as a princess if she didn't have a short bob.
Terri has struck a chord with parents all over the world, after addressing the woman over her insensitive comments, in an article for Babble.com.
Lamenting the ‘inconsiderate’ woman’s lack of tact, Terri echoed the sentiments of many parents behind these powerful open letters: you don’t know her, you don’t know her daughter, and you don’t know the intricacies of their lives.
Explaining how much her daughter loves her short hair, having recently cut it back short after growing it to style into a bun for a ballet recital, Terri revealed that the woman’s insensitive words had a potentially destructive impact on her daughter.
Recalling the exchange, while she and her daughter were waiting to pay for her new Rapunzel doll, Terri wrote: “‘What a beautiful doll,’ you say to her. ‘Which princess is that?’ She looks at you with her silly, friendly attitude on display and says, ‘Rapunzel!’ And then, you look at my perfect little girl and say, ‘Well, her long hair is so pretty. You would be that pretty, too, if you had long hair.’”
Describing the stranger’s comments as being like a punch in the stomach, Terri mused over what a couple of ill-thought words could do to an impressionable child’s self-esteem.
“I see the wheels turning in her mind, wondering if she should have skipped the short haircut, wondering if she is beautiful like a princess. I see the shame and self-doubt that this small comment brings to her eyes, and I want to run from the store and protect her from the standards of beauty that our society wants to place upon her,” she wrote.
Fortunately for Terri, she was able to handle the incident like a pro, and used the analogy of how Rapunzel’s happy ending goes hand-in-hand with her short hair in the Disney movie Tangled. But another child might have taken this woman’s words to heart – and it could be very destructive to their confidence and body image.
And so, we can all learn from Terri’s final and urgent message to this woman and, indeed, everyone: be considerate when you’re speaking to a child; you never know what damage you could be doing.
“In the future, speak with more caution to the little girls you meet. Children soak up everything, even the voices their mommas wish they could shield them from,” she added.
