We all know toddlers say the funniest things, so we asked our MummyPages mums to share funny things that their toddler has said to them. We had a fantastic response and were inundated with amusing stories and anecdotes. After many arguments and lots of toing and froing, we finally found 20 of the best stories.
Grab a cuppa, sit down and have a read – you are sure to have a great giggle.
“When my son was nearly 3...
Me: hold my hand, cars can't see you because you're little.
Liam: no, cars can't see me because they don't have eyes.”
“My four year old thought last week that the name of his class was Junior Elephants!!!”
“I asked my three year old to close the door as there is a draught in the hallway. He genuinely thought there was a giraffe in the hallway!”
“My daughter was on the bus with me. She saw a lady with an eye patch and pointed saying, "She is a pirate"”
"My friend asked my then 3-year-old boy if he had made the fox mask on the wall. Quite seriously he tapped his finger on the desk in his playroom and said "no, I made it on the table!"“
“On collecting my son who was almost 3 from the childminders last year just after the clocks changed time he asked at the back door "Mommy who turned off the lights!" too cute x.”
“When my son was 3 his grand dad jokingly asked him why he wasn't in the photograph with his mam, dad & sister (taken before he was born) He answered .... Because Mammy hadn't eaten me yet!”
“When my boy (now 7) was 2 1/2 and being potty trained
I had to keep reminding him to go to the toilet. One day when he was standing at the toilet he couldn't pee, so he shouted to me "mummy the wee won't come I think it's broken (pointing to his willy) I think it needs batteries", laughing I shouted back "you cant have batteries and where would I stick them up your bum" Not amused he said to me "no mum that would be sore".
“My three-year-old was dressed up in a witches dress the other day. I called her into the sitting room to clean up by which she informed me that she was a princess and princesses don't clean up..... I'm still laughing.”
“My three-year-old opened the front door this morning and pointed to a familiar looking long legged flying insect on the ground and said "look daddy, it's a you-long legs!"
“I asked my 3 year old just this evening to have three more spoons of mash and she put her hands to her head and said 'I can't handle this'...lol”
“My daughter leant on my boob last week and said "your boob is squishy!"...she then leant on my tummy and exclaimed "mummy you have more boobs here!"”
“My two girls were in the back of the car discussing where milk comes from. One says "it comes out the cows bum" , the other, with a look of disgust replys "everyone knows it comes out the cows otters"”
“When my son was about 2 months old, he was crying. My (then) 2 year old daughter turned and said to him "you have 2 options - cry or get milk". I was in knots!
“Told my 2 year old to "stop telling fibs" she said "who's fibs mummy, I haven't told anyone called fibs””
“My little boy saw my bra on my bed and asked why I had taken my boobies off. Also 2wks after had twin boys my little boy asked if I could have 2 girls now please.”
“My 3 year old asked if he's gunna be 4 on his 2nd birthday, lol”
“I love some of the things my 3 year old comes out with, they have me in bits. He was told that he had broken daddy's sunglasses (he bent the arms) and his answer.....it's ok mummy it was just an accident, sometimes accidents just happen that's all!!”
“While we were driving through the west midland safari park my daughter asked "mummy, why has the camel got boobies on his back?"
“When my mum asked my 2 1/2 year old daughter what do you say when you ask for a drink she replied 'cor blimey guvnor!!”