Comedian James Breakwell is making parents everywhere DIE laughing with his tweets documenting conversations he’s had with his wife and four daughters (all under the age of seven!).
Apparently, the five-year-old had some clever notions on how to get more Halloween candy:
5: Trick or treat
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 31 October 2017
Me: You can't do it at our own house.
5: Trick or treat
Me: No
5: Trick or treat
Me: *gives candy* Don't tell anyone.
Cheeky, but we really admire her tactics! His seven-year-old has her own enterprising ideas about trick-or-treating:
7-year-old: Can we go trick or treating tonight?
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 30 October 2017
Me: Halloween isn't until tomorrow.
7: I know. We'll beat the rush.
His three-year-old seems to be a dancing queen ... of sorts:
3-year-old: *has a rug burn on her forehead*
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 25 October 2017
Me: How did you get that?
3: Dancing.
I have no follow-up questions.
Oh boy ... he definitely needs to keep an eye on his one-year-old:
1-year-old: Shoes!
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 25 October 2017
Me: *takes off her shoes*
1: Socks!
Me: *takes off her socks*
1: Toes!
Uh oh.
Only family life could give you this kind of comedy gold:
Wife: Who unrolled the toilet paper, a kid or the pig?
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 30 October 2017
Me: It’s covered in mud.
Wife: That tells me nothing.
Whatever grief they may give him, the comedy writer's family just wants to see him happy:
Me: *finishes telling my wife why yesterday was a bad day*
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 1 November 2017
3-year-old: That’s not how stories end.
Me: And I lived happily ever after.
Kids really do say the darndest things! What's the funniest conversation you'd had with your little ones?
