No matter what stage a woman is at, a miscarriage is one of the most painful things an expectant mother can go through. And when family or friends experience one it can be hard to know how to help without being insensitive, or causing any further pain.
While you won’t be able to take away the pain, you can offer them support and a listening ear to help them cope with it.
Listen to them
Don’t go in with your own experiences about miscarriage or use phrases like 'they’ll feel better in time', sometimes the best way to help someone is to simply be there and listen to them. Even if they don’t want to talk, knowing that you are there for them when they are ready will help them cope a little better.
Give them time
Let them mourn the loss of their baby in their own time and don’t expect them to feel ok within a certain time frame. Remember, everyone deals with grief in their own way and for some it can last a very long time. Your job is to simply be there for as long as they need you.
Your friend will want to spend time grieving with her other half, so give them the space they both need to be there for each other. But make sure she knows you are still thinking of her either by a simple text or card. She’ll then call on you when she needs you.
Don’t make it about you
Obviously you are going to be upset for your friend and what she has lost, but you need to keep your own emotions in check, otherwise they will end up looking after you. If you have suffered a miscarriage before, while it is perfectly ok to talk about how you felt and the things you did to help you cope, you need to remember that you are there to comfort your friend not the other way around.
Talk about the baby
Unless your friend really doesn’t want to talk about the baby, sometimes talking about who they have lost can help with the grieving process.