With wall-to-wall coverage of the Paris terrorist attacks of last weekend, try as we might, there really is no escaping the tragic topic – and this goes for our little ones, too.
While we tend to focus on shielding our children from the scarier parts of everyday life, there comes a time when you absolutely have to address certain topics – the current state of affairs in France and beyond calling for this.
After a video of a father/son conversation about the Paris attacks went viral this week, it’s important to address how we can talk to our little ones about these tragedies.
Harold Kopelwicz, President of Child Mind Institute, shared some expert tips with TIME magazine for handling the issue sensitively, among them:
Don’t put off having ‘the conversation’
In a world where information and news is updating 24/7, the chances are that your little one – no matter how young – has already heard at least snippets of what is going on. As a responsible parent, you want to be the one in control of how, when and where your child hears about such a serious topic, so that you can manage the fallout. Have the conversation as soon as possible so you have the authoritative voice on the subject.
Strategise with others in a position of care
While you may have a handle on the situation at your end, unfortunately you cannot always control what happens outside of your own home. Your children are bound to hear different and even conflicting information at school or in their social groups, so it’s important to liaise with teachers, child minders and other parents on how the topic is to be handled around your little one.
Keep it age-appropriate
You don’t want to lie to or sugar-coat such a serious topic for your child, especially when they may already have picked up unfiltered information. The best way to approach the subject is to be honest with them and adapt the information in a sensitive way that they can easily understand. Encourage discussion and ask them about what they already know and understand about what’s happening – this will act as a good starting point.
Don’t frighten them
This is not likely to be an issue anyway, but it’s worth reiterating. Some children will be shocked and frightened by what they see and hear (even from your carefully filtered version), so it’s important to allay any fears of immediate danger. Assure them that what has happened is a rare occurrence unlikely to happen to them in their everyday lives. Sensitivity is the key.
Koplewicz also shared some tips for handling the topic for specific age groups, which may also prove useful to parents:
For pre-schoolers: This is where you will really need to filter your information. Do avoid gruesome or dramatic detail, as kids of this age are most likely to ‘confuse facts with fears’.
For primary school children: Let children of this age lead the way in terms of conversation, and begin with the basic facts. Again, it’s not a good idea to lay on the heavy detail, but if they do express fears you should assure them that they have no need to worry about imminent danger.
For secondary school teens: Here, engagement and discussion are key, as your teens are now at an age where they will soon be surrounded by this topic. Be calm in your discussion of the subject, and take a practical approach by going over any safety strategies you may have in place.
