Blended families may be common nowadays, but it doesn’t mean they are easy. Many children feel different about welcoming a step parent into their life, and may feel like they are betraying or hurting their biological parent, depending on their situation.
To help you bond with your stepchild it's important you try and do something special, just the two of you. Simple things like drawing or hanging out at the park are important to create a close bond and happy memories. A family game night, at least once a month, can also be a great way to bond. The kids will be able to get to know your fun side with the security of their own parent being there. Get the kids involved in picking the activity and be positive about their choice, even if you would rather pull your hair out.
Remember to make sure they know that they can always count on you and shower them in praise and encouragement, but make sure you are never stepping on anyone’s toes - you don’t want the kids feeling like you are trying to replace their biological parent.
Most importantly, let them know that you love having them around and if you have your own kids, make sure you include your stepkids in any activities that they might be involved in.
Keep in mind there will be many ups and downs in the blending of a family, even when every family member does everything right. The child has already had to endure a huge upheaval in their lives, so take your time and be patient with them.