Life lessons from a five-year-old

 

Joan celebrated her 5th birthday earlier this month on the 4th of May, and she did it in style!

 

We were in Canada for two weeks just before her birthday and she had two parties while we were there; my mother’s side and my father’s side wanted to celebrate with her and it was lovely as it was her first birthday I was able to spend with my family.

 

When we returned home she had three more parties: a little tea party at our house with a group of friends who all have birthdays the same week, a crazy chaotic and totally tiring party at ‘Go Kids Go’ with a bigger group of friends and, finally, to round it off, a quiet birthday with my husband’s family. So all in all I think we celebrated turning five pretty well.

But it is a milestone. It has marked a change not only in her, she is very proud of being five unlike being four, three, two or one. It also marks a change in my relationship with her. She is and will always be my baby but now she is my daughter, my pal and my confidant too.

It got me thinking about the five most valuable things she has taught me since her arrival in May 2011.

1. She has taught me about love

I really don’t think I knew how deep and all-consuming that emotion could be until I became a mum. Friends always told me about ‘this love.’ That it is deeper than anything you have ever known. At the time they were saying this, I had yet to become a mum and I thought they were crazy. As I loved my parents more than anything, my twin is my world and I’m so in love with my husband. But they were right. The feeling of loving a child doesn’t compare to anything else. It is so powerful I think it changes a person from the core and completey influences your view of the world.

 

 

2. Joan taught me to appreciate time

Starting from when I was on my maternity leave, I looked at time differently and how I spent it. Before I was racing around, always thinking of later - later that day, that week, that month - but never about where I was in the present time. But when you are just sitting holding your newborn and staring at their tiny face, or encouraging tummy time, or watching them reach for you for the first time, you are nowhere else but in that moment. The way I viewed time changed not only for when I was with Joan but all other aspects of my life. And she continues to bring me back to the present when we colour together, chase each other around the house or walk along holding hands.

3. Joan has taught me to be thankful

Losing my parents at such a young age made me more fearful of losing things or commiting to things, rather than appreciating what I do have. Joan’s arrival taught me that again. I was thankful that despite her bumpy arrival we were all okay. That at each doctor appointment they said she was doing well. That with each day she was learning new things and growing - these were all things to be thankful for. I am thankful now that my little girl who turned five is caring and kind, that she has the best sense of humour and she has so many friends. I am even thankful that despite the problems a very determined personality can bring to parenting, that she has this because I think it will serve her well as she continues to grow and develop.

4. She has taught me about a good conversation again

I have to focus one hundred percent on what she is saying and to concentrate on long and inquisitive exchanges. I have also learned to listen again, to really listen. And to carry on conversations that involve me encouraging her learning and imagination and also providing good information for her to gain knowledge from. Seeing the world from her point of view has really taught me so much.

5. Joan has taught me to have fun

I have always been a bit silly; I love laughing and try not to sweat the small stuff. But in my 20’s and early 30’s I forgot how to make fun. For laughs it was nights out with friends or watching a comedy but I wasn’t really making my own fun. Joan, as she is getting older, is encouraging me to make fun. The other day we broke up laughing just the two of us trying to talk like robots for the day. We both love hiding and scaring my husband when he comes home (it never gets old.) There are even times when I think she won’t ‘get it’ and she does and we always crack up laughing at the exact same moment. This is the best feeling in the world.

So to my daughter Joan, the love of my life, each day I am learning to be a better parent and person because of you and I thank you!