The importance of manners and disciplining

I often joke that 'say please' and 'say thank you' will be on my gravestone as I say it to Jack (nearly five) and Holly (nearly three) at least 10 times a day. It’s actually become a part of me and my every day mantra!

 

I really believe that it doesn't cost anything to smile, look someone in the eye and say thank you very much, to show that you are grateful and appreciative. I really try to help my two understand just how important it is to be polite and mannerly and how nice it is for people to hear 'thank you'. My parents drilled manners into me and my two sisters, and I remember people commenting on our manners (I just copied my older sister Anna to get praise!).

 

Now that I’m a mum myself, I always notice and love the feeling you get when you hear a child say thank you or please. It really is so impressive and endears you that child; rudeness just leaves you feeling frustrated and disappointed. Well for me anyway.

 

I've also noticed that less children seem to say thank you these days than in my time. Are children getting too spoilt? Are their parents forgetting to remind them? Do some parents think that it doesn’t matter? Well it does. It REALLY does. We will persist in teaching our two the right way and then it's up to them to keep it up when they’re adults!

 

Jack and Holly are still very small people but I truly believe that repetition will pay off and that eventually it will become second nature to them to have manners and good social mobility. We teach Jack how to shake a person’s hand properly and to keep eye contact, which I think is also really important. First impressions last and it costs nothing to be polite.

 

It also costs nothing to have table manners.  At the moment, we’re trying to teach him and Holly how to hold their knife and fork properly. Holly's too small but is very interested! Jack enjoys being taught new things and loves the sense of achievement he gets when he understands. We are also reminding him to close his mouth when chewing as often the whole road will hear him munch through food!

 

 

I'm a fun, energetic mum, coming up with crazy games and always laughing. I’m also very affectionate,  cuddling and kissing them a lot. In fact, overall to be honest, I think I'm quite easy except when it comes to manners. That’s the one area where I'm a strict parent and Richie is the same. It’s the one thing that we want to instil in them, on top of them being well-rounded, kind, generous, confident little people.

 

And then there's the disciplining. I'm not great to be honest. Being a bit of a softy when it comes to my children, I generally avoid hassle. I try not to raise my voice in the mornings when getting them ready for school but I do. And then I spend the entire car journey apologising to them!

 

I do use time outs now and again but overall, I just try and resolve the fight, cheeky behaviour, etc there and then. I may use jellies as a bribe now and again, and then sometimes I use guilt. Sometimes I put on my sad face and say, “Mummy’s very sad. Why did you so that?” and other times, being a stubborn Taurean, I will wait until they say sorry properly.