How to feel like yourself again

Last updated: 02/02/2015 09:00 by LucyKennedyMummy to LucyKennedyMummy's Blog
Filed under: Mums Love Lucy
When you become a ‘Mum,’ it’s sometimes very hard to remember your life before - how you spent your time, what consumed you and who you were. I know that may sound bizarre but it’s true.
 
In the early stages of becoming a parent and a mother, you become so consumed and involved with your baby that you forget about yourself totally. Or at least I did. It's like living in a little bubble that contains just you and your baby; a bubble of total love, exhaustion and nurturing. You need each other. The weeks pass quickly and before you know it, the eight-week haze of exhaustion dissipates and only then do you remember to wash your hair and put on mascara.
 
I never knew this before becoming a mum because it’s genuinely impossible to fathom just how you’ll feel when you do become a parent. It's like your life, your wants and your needs just come second. Had anyone said that to me at the age of 18, I probably would have laughed; now, with two children, I often find myself wondering how I spent my days before kids.
 
I miss staying in bed until 11am, but when you get up and see your little baby's face and those innocent eyes penetrating your soul, your heart, head and body surrender. You let them become your world. They are totally worth this.
 
When Jack and Holly were about six months, it was then that I realised that I could start becoming myself again. My body looked more familiar (slightly) my skin was a little tighter and my energy improved. I started exercising and eating more healthily. I didn’t buy new clothes until this stage even though I did have to buy a size bigger than before pregnant. But I was no longer in maternity or stretchy tracksuit bottoms!
 
At this point, I started to feel more like me again; more like ‘Lucy’. Women's confidence disappears a little, I think, once they've had a baby. We forget what a huge achievement having and looking after an infant is. Instead of resenting our post-baby bodies, we should try and celebrate them.
 
I think making plans to go out either with friends or even to the park, starts building your confidence again. Interacting with other tired mothers, also makes you feel that (a) you're doing things right, and (b) it's the only place that you'll get true sympathy.
 
Before you know it, your baby is kind of sleeping though the night and you are a happier, well-rounded person. You start thinking about maybe going back to work (if it’s an option). You even start wearing make-up again and finding the time to brush your hair.
 
Then when the dreaded day of returning to work comes, like me, you'll cry in your car having left your baby into a crèche or with a relative. You'll dislike the first few days because you miss being at home but then it passes. You'll love the adult company and people will start asking you out for drinks. Slowly but surely, you'll start to feel more like you again. By the time your baby is 12 months, your figure will be back, you'll have more energy, you'll be in a routine and you'll have a life. A more tired life but a better one!
 
For me, being a mum is the most important job in the world and becoming a parent is my greatest achievement to date. But watching telly, in a baggy tracksuit with sore boobs, tired eyes and no make-up on, you do think to yourself:  'Wait a minute! Where is ‘Me’?”
 
But trust me: don't sweat it and don't put yourself under pressure. You're still in there, you just need a little more time to come out of hibernation. 
 
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