The Fear (no, not the hungover kind)
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Ok nobody told me about the fear. Yes this is the new mum, don’t look at how I'm holding my baby fear.
Honestly this exists, I remember my husband going home and leaving me in the hospital the first day our son was born. I have never felt so scared in all my life. How? that was the first question that came to my mind. How do I hold my baby properly? How do I feed my baby properly? How do I change their nappy properly?
How did I not think about all of these things? or maybe I did but why did it all seem so different now
that he was here, now that it was real. My confidence was gone, literally knocked out of my body and I felt like everyone was watching me and who left a baby alone with me?
These feelings go and pretty quickly too. When you become this tiny baby's full-time dependent it doesn’t take long before you feel like Super Mum whipping off nappies left, right and centre and getting burps up in one go, you literally know every inch of your child and your confidence goes through the roof.
That is… until you have to go to a shop, maybe a baby shop of some kind. If you go in with anything less than a trail of kids behind you they know you’re a first time mother and they can smell the fear, I know they can. If you do not know the answers to their questions before they've even asked you the questions beware they can make you feel 'quite small'.
I remember leaving shops on more than one occasion upset or annoyed at the way I was spoken too as if I 'should've known' everything baby related already. I wish people would understand that unless you've done this before it’s impossible to know everything and even if you have done it before each child is so
different that they can never be treated the same.
My advice now looking back is don’t let any of this knock your confidence, take any relevant advice on board, let any preaching go in one ear and out the other and know that no matter what you're doing a great job!
Honestly this exists, I remember my husband going home and leaving me in the hospital the first day our son was born. I have never felt so scared in all my life. How? that was the first question that came to my mind. How do I hold my baby properly? How do I feed my baby properly? How do I change their nappy properly?
How did I not think about all of these things? or maybe I did but why did it all seem so different now
that he was here, now that it was real. My confidence was gone, literally knocked out of my body and I felt like everyone was watching me and who left a baby alone with me?
These feelings go and pretty quickly too. When you become this tiny baby's full-time dependent it doesn’t take long before you feel like Super Mum whipping off nappies left, right and centre and getting burps up in one go, you literally know every inch of your child and your confidence goes through the roof.
That is… until you have to go to a shop, maybe a baby shop of some kind. If you go in with anything less than a trail of kids behind you they know you’re a first time mother and they can smell the fear, I know they can. If you do not know the answers to their questions before they've even asked you the questions beware they can make you feel 'quite small'.
I remember leaving shops on more than one occasion upset or annoyed at the way I was spoken too as if I 'should've known' everything baby related already. I wish people would understand that unless you've done this before it’s impossible to know everything and even if you have done it before each child is so
different that they can never be treated the same.
My advice now looking back is don’t let any of this knock your confidence, take any relevant advice on board, let any preaching go in one ear and out the other and know that no matter what you're doing a great job!
