Becoming a mum is a life-changing experience. Adapting to your new role as a parent will take time. Many new mums will struggle when they have to wake up at 3 am for the night feed; others will battle with the seat as they try to fit it into the car. Some mums will feel defeated when they can’t stop their little one from crying.
In the beginning, mums will face many hurdles, but everything will become easier for them over time. However, there is one thing that mum-of-three Bunmi Laditan couldn’t prepare herself for when she welcomed her youngest son into the world.
She has bravely opened up about her distressing experience with postpartum depression. Bunmi believed that by sharing her story, she would reassure other mums who were suffering.
The mum admitted that when her son was born she noticed something was missing. He wasn’t the same as her other two children; he didn’t feel like he was 'her' son.
She shared, “No one can prepare you for how it feels to hold a baby and not feel like they’re yours.”
When her first two children were born, the mum felt the spark instantly. She said the moment she saw them, she loved them.
Things still didn’t feel right when the family arrived home from the hospital, “I came home with my little cub. While he was cute as a button, I knew something was missing.”
Her son didn’t feel like he belonged to her. Bunmi anxiously waited for someone else to appear and say he was their son: “I remember looking at my bedroom door, half expecting his real mother to walk in and say, 'Excellent work, fräulein, I’ll take it from here.'”
Bunmi was eventually diagnosed with postpartum depression and started a course of medication to treat the disorder.
It took three long and difficult years for the mum to finally feel that maternal connection to her son. She revealed, “Then one day, or perhaps over several days, or maybe through each day of showing up, his real mother finally walked through the door and it was me. 100% me.”
Bunmi proudly shared: “I am his mother and he is my child with no doubts, no angst, nothing between us.”
Sharing her story took a lot of courage and strength, but Bunmi hopes to reassure her fellow mums who may be going through the same experience.
She asked mums to never give up no, matter how difficult it is, “Keep rocking them to sleep, searching their little faces for what you need. Keep kissing their pillow-soft cheeks.”
Bunmi encouraged them to remain hopeful, because one day they will develop that connection.
The mum wrote, “The angels throw a handful of sand into the canyon between you. One day it will be full, and you’ll walk across it to find you were always there somehow."