You asked

My husband wants me to have sex but I'm not ready.

If your husband is pressuring you to have sex and you are not ready, then tell him. If you keep quiet about it then he will think that you are not interested in him anymore and this will cause unnecessary tension between the two of you. If it is your first baby, then there is a good chance that your husband is not aware of some of the problems that women encounter after having a baby.
However, if you sit down and talk to him about these things, then he will realise that it is quite normal for you to feel this way. If he is an understanding person then he will have patience and be supportive of you to help you through this difficult time.
Although it is normal to have a lack of libido after having a baby, you should still make an effort to have time for your husband. Have a sitter look after your baby for a few hours and spend some quality time with your husband. Even if you do not have sex, just being alone with each other will give you time to focus on yourselves rather than the baby.
It is also very important that you have as much physical contact with each other as possible. Cuddle, kiss and hug whenever the opportunity arises. Even though the physical contact is not sexual, your husband will know that you still love him.
Another reason why your husband should have patience is because you will be sensitive down below after the birth of your baby. Having a baby is painful and may even cause a mental block in some women. They might be reluctant to have sex in a hurry knowing what will happen should they fall pregnant again.
Then again, you might be like some women who believe that, because of the toll that pregnancy and giving birth has on your body, that you are not attractive anymore. There is no doubt that your husband will waste no time in telling you that he finds you just as desirable as you were before the birth.

More questions

There are some very good reasons that you would want to avoid sexual intercourse.
Your vagina will naturally shrink after delivery, as your body heals, but whether it returns to its original size, depends on a number of factors.
Your menstrual cycle usually starts towards the end of your breastfeeding phase, but how regular it is once it is back varies from woman to woman.
It is not uncommon for women to experience pain and discomfort during sex, for the first couple of months after having a baby.
The delaying effect that breastfeeding has on the return of normal menstruation has an effect on fertility and can be considered as a method of contraception – although it is not a very reliable one.
The Intrauterine System, or IUS, is an effective method of birth control that is safe to use while breastfeeding.
It is true that some women experience a drop in their sex drive while breastfeeding, however, this isn’t always the case.
The return to your normal cycle is not a hard and fast rule and it can take anything from a month to a year before your first post baby period happens.
It is entirely up to you and your husband as to when you want to start having sex after the birth of your baby. The best thing to do is to have patience and wait until your body is ready for sex after your baby is born.
As very often happens, if you are just too tired to have sex after a long day, then tell your husband. If he is understanding and clever, he will help you as much as he can. After all, you will both benefit from this.



Hello Mama!
Help us help you by allowing us and our partners to remember your device in cookies to serve you personalized content and ads.

We're on a mission to help our mums and their families thrive by informing, connecting and entertaining.

Join us in our mission by consenting to the use of cookies and IP address recognition by us and our partners to serve you content (including ads) best suited to your interests, both here and around the web.

We promise never to share any other information that may be deemed personal unless you explicitly tell us it's ok.

If you want more info, see our privacy policy.