Upon learning they were pregnant with their second child, Jennifer Ryan and her husband set about preparing a place for the much-anticipated new arrival, blissfully unaware their initial joy would soon be replaced with utter heartbreak.
Recalling the moment that they realised theirs would not be a journey of anticipation and excitement, Jennifer wrote in a heartfelt blog: “I had a feeling that all wasn't as it should be, but I certainly was not expecting what was to come.”
At 22 weeks pregnant, Jennifer attended hospital for an anomaly scan alongside her husband, but with four shorts words from the doctor, the couple realised their little girl appeared to be fighting a losing battle.
"It’s bad news, guys", the doctor said as she explained that there was no fluid surrounding the couple's second child.
Upon learning that their daughter, who had a severe form of spina bifidia, was also devoid of kidneys and would never develop a set of lungs, Jennifer recalls realising: “Our baby was sadly incompatible with life.”
After further scans and much soul searching, Jennifer and her husband came to the heartbreaking conclusion that the severity of their daughter's condition meant that a termination was the only option for her and her unborn child.
Breaking the news to their six-year-old daughter, Jennifer remembers answering her child's questions that heartbreaking evening in June 2012, writing: “That night we all slept in the same bed as none of us wanted to be without each other.”
After explaining that they had driven through the night from the port in Holyhead to the hospital in Liverpool, Jennifer revealed that the grief stricken couple asked doctors if there had been any improvement.
“We were still wishing and hoping with all our hearts that something would change, but the consultant sadly said that there was no change," she remembered.
“The condition was worse than the previous scans revealed and we were doing what was best for our daughter,” wrote Jennifer.
After being induced, Jennifer recalls it was only a few minutes before she was taken up to the labour ward in the unfamiliar hospital in Liverpool.
“Around midnight on Monday my labour started. At 9.08am on Tuesday morning my beautiful daughter Jessica was born.”
Recalling her second child's delicate features, Jennifer wrote: “She was 28cm long and weighed just 1lb 6oz. She was perfect to us. She didn't have a cleft lip but her spine wasn't fully covered by skin and we could see evidence of her abnormalities in her legs.”
Travelling back to Ireland with their youngest child in a small coffin, Jennifer remembers: "We had contacted the ferry company before travelling and they had no problems with us bringing our daughter on board but we just couldn't have her coffin in sight in the car.”
Just weeks after putting a deposit on a buggy for their baby girl, Jennifer and her family surrounded baby Jessica's tiny coffin and said their final goodbyes.
Reflecting on her experience, Jennifer writes: “We did what we believe was right for our daughter – she didn't suffer any pain or distress and just drifted off to sleep.”
Having spent just three days with their daughter, Jennifer and her family include Jessica in everything they do, with her mum writing: “She is the missing piece in our family which will never be replaced and she is forever in our heart.”
To read Jennifer Ryan's heartfelt blog in its entirety, please click here
