How do you talk to children about cancer?

Last updated: 07/07/2015 16:55 by JillianGlancy to JillianGlancy's Blog
Filed under: MummyBloggers
Talking to children about grown up issues can be challenging. A few months ago, I wrote about how my five-year-old’s pet fish died and how upset she was when she found out. It was horrible to see her so upset, but unfortunately we can’t wrap our kids up in cotton wool forever. Although I’d like to…
 
Recently I found out my mother has cancer. The drive to Galway to meet her surgeon was ominous. We were hoping the news would be positive. When the surgeon spoke to us privately, I remember the words coming out of his mouth, but it was like they were floating over my head. It was all very surreal. I felt like I was in a film or having an out of body experience. They brought us into a room and gave us hot cups of tea while we tried to process the information.
 
My mum lives over two and a half hours away, so there will be plenty of trips over the coming months up and down the country, while she is undergoing operations and treatment.  People asked me if I have told my five-year-old daughter about it. I thought they were mad. Why would I tell her?  She’s only five!
 
Then I thought about it some more. I will be on the road a lot more as I visit Granny, so she’s bound to be asking questions. She’s a pretty inquisitive child, and nothing gets past her – she would make a great detective someday! So, I decided to just say Granny was a bit sick and I would need to visit her a bit more to make sure she is ok. I think that’s appropriate for a child her age, yet also vague enough. I don’t want to frighten the life out of her talking about operations and the big C word.
 
It’s only when you become a mother, you really only start to appreciate your own mother. Walk a mile in my shoes, and all that I suppose. My mother always used to say “your health is your wealth” and it’s true. What use is all the money in the world if you’re not well enough to enjoy it and enjoy life?
 
For now, we remain cautiously optimistic and plan to make the most of the summer and the school holidays. If anything, this is a bit of a wake- up call.  Sometimes we are so busy rushing around we forget to stop, smell the roses and to enjoy the now! It brings to mind one of my favourite expressions: “yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that’s why we call it the present.”
 
Wise words and definitely food for thought.
 
Jillian Glancy is a freelance journalist and expert tea drinker. When she's not playing Princesses with her four-year-old, she can be found running around like a headless chicken, trying to figure out how to do it all and realising it's not quite possible.
 
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