It IS possible: How to survive life with a four-year-old

 

It's been fun recently, to watch Channel Four's program The Secret Life of Four Year Olds.

 

The kids were sweet, naughty, vulnerable and hilarious, and the child psychologists that explained typical four-year-old behaviours had me intrigued.

 

But LIVING with a child of this age is different from watching them interact at school.

 

At home they are in their territory, their comfort zone.

 

They behave differently.

 

They have their quirks, their idiosyncrasies.

 

 

Take biscuits for instance.

 

Never offer a four-year-old a biscuit or cracker that is slightly broken.

 

Like their younger brethren, they find this highly offensive and will have a major meltdown.

 

Perhaps this is due to their constant striving for perfection.

 

Or maybe they are irrational and demonical. Either way, eat the cracked biscuit yourself. It will give you energy.

 

Energy you'll need because the second thing I've observed is that four-year-olds have the exuberance and endurance of the Duracell bunny.

 

Head-stands on the sofa, indoor obstacle courses, jumping, skippering, leaping, whacking and twirling; these are nothing more than a warm up before the real activity gets underway.

 

An overtired four-year-old will turn tyrannical quickly. Avoid this scenario if you value your sanity.

 

Car travel, with its restrictions on jumping, bouncing, skippering, leaping, whacking and twirling can lead to frustration and tension.

 

 

Our four-year-old replaces physical activity with vocal activity, singing loud and tuneless songs she makes up herself. The last song had one lyric: “I don't care” and lasted half an hour.

 

Kids of this age are quick to rage against the machine/and or small grievances. Mine went into a fury because she didn't like how the bracelet she'd stolen from her older sister moved against her arm.

 

Stop it twizzling, she cried and when I refused to glue it to her arm she wept against the sofa cushions.

 

The short fuses, the boisterous explosive behaviour is balanced somewhat by the sweet spontaneous professions of love, the hugs, the little acts of kindness, the sudden compliments (you're the best mum ever always goes down well).

 

You could call four-year-olds a lot of things. Boring isn't one of them.