Mummy's favourite

 

I have been a mother for almost 19 years, and during that time there is one question I have been asked at least once by all three of my children.

 

It has nothing to do with the origin of babies, the identity of Santa Claus, or why that lady sitting right in front of us on the train has hair growing out of her nose.

 

The one thing that seems to bother all of them is whether he or she is my favourite child. Of course, I immediately respond with a bland variation of “You are all my favourites.”

 

That might not be entirely true, however.

 

According to a 2005 study that has been popping up on social media recently, almost three quarters of parents admit they favour one child over the rest of the brood.

 

Research by sociologist Katherine Conger carried out over three years, shows that 74% of mothers and 70% of fathers reported differential treatment toward one child, but they would not identify who was the lucky child.

 

As every parent would expect, the study revealed that all kids believed their parents treated them unfairly.

 

Indeed, “that’s so unfair!” seems to be our family’s motto.

 

And while first-born children don’t seem to be too bothered by this perceived unfair treatment, their thin-skinned baby siblings appear most hard done by.

 

I don’t think any parent will be greatly surprised by this study, but is it wrong to have a favourite child?

 

Does the fact that you gave birth to all the little people in your house mean you must have no preferences when it comes to which one’s company you enjoy most?

 

I really don’t think so.

 

In every group, there will be personalities that mesh more closely with your own. In a family, this can be even more pronounced, and you may gravitate more toward the child whose genetic personality traits mirror your own - because they are your own.

 

When I was a child, I never believed my parents when they said they loved all four of us equally, but now that I am a mother, I understand.

 

I also understand that, even though you love all your children in the same way, you might favour one over another.

 

Not that it applies to me, of course, so if a child of mine ever reads this: “You are all my favourites.”