My reaction to my daughter's first public meltdown

I still remember Ella’s first public meltdown; I have never felt so ill-equipped to deal with something in my entire life.

Oh, I had heard about the terrible twos, I had been primed about toddler tantrums and I’d been given the 411 on irrational outbursts, but nothing, and I mean nothing, prepared me for the horror I felt at the time.

Standing in the cereal aisle of my local supermarket and watching my two-year-old daughter drop to her knees and begin to howl, shriek and spit left me horrified.

Every single piece of advice I had been given disappeared and I found myself turning my back on my wailing child, making my way to the end of the aisle and leaning against my trolley for support.

She was out of control and I had no idea how to deal with it.

Heart pounding, I watched concerned adults glance at my daughter and no doubt wonder where her parent was. When I saw one woman crouch beside her I knew I had to do something, but I felt like I was made of lead.

Making my way back up the aisle to the child I had left behind, I was treated only with kindness by the middle-aged woman attempting to placate my daughter.

That moment has been etched in my mind ever since, so I felt nothing but sympathy for the parents of Bradley Lawton who were told they couldn’t control their autistic son on a recent trip to an Iceland store.

Bradley’s father Matthew was understandably outraged at the accusation and given his son’s needs, feels passionately that people should exercise a little more understanding when it comes to children’s behaviour in public.

Bradley’s parents would have tended to their son in a way that matched his needs and to be told they were incapable of controlling him did nothing but intensify the situation.

Had I been subjected to the same accusation during Ella’s meltdown, I would have struggled to maintain my composure. Lord knows, I was struggling as it was.

No parent goes out with the intention of allowing their children to scream, kick, wail or thrash, but sometimes kids have other ideas. That’s life.

We mightn’t know why the child is behaving as they are; there may be extenuating circumstances or it may be a run-of-the-mill meltdown, but really, it doesn’t matter.

Some days their parent may be better equipped to deal with the behaviour and some days they might struggle, but you can be sure that their parent dislikes it just as much as you do.

Be empathetic, not judgemental. One thing’s for certain: they’re dealing with it as best as they can.