Bank Holiday squabbling

There’s nothing quite like a rain drenched May bank holiday weekend to test parental patience to its frayed end. My beloved offspring, confined within four walls for hours on end, decided to occupy themselves by honing their bickering and squabbling skills.

 

This weekend I’ve been exposed to a myriad of arguments over who sits where on the sofa. Apparently, prime real estate is the right hand side of the couch. Even when it comes to watching cartoons it turns out to be all about location, location, location.

 

There have been 20-minute hissy fits about whether one is allowed to brush the other’s hair. This argument was then prolonged by another 20 minutes of heated debate as to which hairbrush should be used.

 

One storm in a teacup involved one drinking from the other’s water glass. That storm raged for two eternities.

 

The problem with children squabbling over seating arrangements and drinking glasses and hairbrushes is that they do it so loudly, their high pitched voices strained with the passion and self-righteousness of their own view point.

 

It’s a form of torture that drives like a knitting needle into your brain and after two days of peace keeping attempts and entreaties and firm warnings, I am (not really) ashamed to admit that by Monday the patience had worn through, and I raised my voice.

 

Okay, I shouted. Shouted like a crazed maniac for them both to stop right now and sit separately or they could get out there in the lashing rain and stay outside for the whole day. 

 

They both paused from their tussle to gain the favourite cushion on the sofa and stared at me with surprise and bemusement. Their expressions implied astonishment that I should find their friendly bickering an irritant when it was so clearly all in good fun. They also managed to express sympathy, as though this vision of me as a harried and hysterical maternal figure was one that required their pity and patience.

 

I retreated to the kitchen. They continued their power struggle, but at least, for a while, they did it in hushed whispers.