Children’s birthday parties: the good, the bad and the ugly

Birthdays. Love them or hate them, when you have children, they are part and parcel of their social landscape and there’s no escaping them! 

 

Recently, a disgruntled mother in the UK hit the headlines, when she sent an invoice for £15.95 to the parents of a five-year-old, when he was a no-show at her son’s party. They even went as far as to threaten small claims court. While it is an extreme example, it just goes to show how seriously some parents take children’s parties.

 

 Even for their first birthday, there is a fanfare. After all it’s a BIG milestone right? As a first-time mum, I stupidly had a big party for my daughter’s first birthday. Don’t ask me why. I still have flashbacks to this day. 

 

I have no idea why I invited so many people - mainly adults, I may add. Looking after adults is more work than looking after kids. They want hot drinks, like tea and coffee, which means constantly faffing about with the kettle while trying to make small talk and entertain everyone. Of course, you also have to make it look effortless.

 

I don’t do effortless well. I get stressed. I wonder if everyone is having fun. Wait, are they having ENOUGH fun? If they’re not, then maybe I’m a terrible hostess and a pathetic wannabe Nigella Lawson failure. 

 

Last year, for the first time, we didn’t have Lucy’s party at home. It was the best idea EVER. We went to a local play centre where the kids ran riot. Great for neurotic worriers like me because it was a padded area, and the mums and dads could have hot drinks that I didn’t have to make! Success. 

 

Really, kids are simple enough to please. They like sweets, playing with their friends and more sweets. Did I mention the sweets? The best thing about going out for a party, is that you don’t have to have a nervous breakdown in the weeks leading up to it, cleaning your house and worrying if you have enough chairs. Plus there is no cleaning up. Zero. How perfect is that?

 

This year, we‘re hiring a room in the local sports club. It’s going to be low key and simple. No fancy stuff. Usually you need to book an entertainer or something to keep the little ones occupied. Booking an entertainer can be expensive, but lucky for my daughter, I am a professional face painter and balloon twister (for my sins) in my spare time, so I’ll probably end up doing that. 

 

I will admit, I am not the most conventional mother, but this time, it is an advantage. There will be tea and coffee for parents, but it will be a case of ‘help yourself’. I hope the days of me running myself ragged at my daughter’s birthday parties are over. I like to think that I have learned some lessons in the past five years! 

 

Now, what colour balloon animal did you want? No, I can’t make a balloon monkey… on second thoughts, maybe I spoke too soon. 

 

Jillian Glancy is a freelance journalist and expert tea drinker. When she's not playing Princesses with her four-year-old, she can be found running around like a headless chicken, trying to figure out how to do it all and realising it's not quite possible.