Coming to terms with a goodbye to ‘firsts’

So far January has been an exciting month within our family as we celebrated two milestone birthdays. The first was my dad’s 75th birthday and more importantly (no offence, Dad!) we celebrated our daughter’s first birthday.

 

Celebrating a first birthday is an exciting milestone as Baba is no more and The Toddler is soon to emerge, bringing joy, tears, laughter and destruction, judging from our experience with her brother! But as the days neared to celebrating this milestone birthday, I couldn’t help but feel a little sad.

 

Knowing this was going to be a last first birthday in our family, it drew up some emotions. When I saw my daughter smile for the first time, it hit me knowing there were lots of ‘firsts’ would soon become ‘lasts’.

 

When I heard her say her first word (Dada), I cried knowing it would be the last first word I would hear. When she took her first step, it was the last first step I would see. All these last ‘firsts,’ I couldn’t help feel a little saddened.

 

Don’t get me wrong; I’m thrilled with our little family the way it is. A Gentleman’s Family was something I had dreamt of from a young age and I feel very blessed that it’s a dream that has come true.  I just couldn’t shake the feeling of sadness as her birthday approached as it seemed to finalise it all.

 

Funnily, as the days began to pass, these emotions were soon reversed to ones of happiness. When I saw her ninth tooth appear and felt number 10 making its way out, I thought: “Woohoo, we’re half way there and then there’s no more teething!”

 

So while there can be some sad moments of ‘last firsts,’ there is a silver lining knowing that we are half way through her teething journey, nappies will soon be no more and maybe, just maybe, they will both want to stay in bed that little bit longer at the weekends. The latter, I know, is a long shot but I’ve had one fantastic dream come true with my Gentleman’s Family - dare I dream again?!

 

If I’m not blessed with some extra time in bed at the weekend, I hope I might be blessed to become a Grandmother, many, many, many years from now and I might be lucky enough to share some of their firsts!