Fighting for a second child

Holding my first born for the very first time, becoming a mother, and that overwhelming feeling of happiness and love is one that I will remember forever. Despite a challenging journey with many fertility problems and two heartbreaking miscarriages, I was finally a mum.

 

My daughter was born in October 2010 and that Christmas was the best ever; all our dreams had come true and our little girl brought the spirit of Christmas to life. However by January, the excruciating pains from the endometriosis had returned.

 

I contacted the doctor who had treated my many fertility issues before and he asked: “Do you want to try for another or look at long term treatment options?” My baby was just three months-old, but knowing how lucky we were to have one baby didn’t stop the longing for a second child.

 

The road to having a sibling for my daughter began; however nothing could have prepared us for the three years that lay ahead...

 

I began charting cycles and taking my fertility medication again, but everything was much tougher this time round. The endometriosis had returned and both my ovaries were covered in cysts. We started each month hoping this was the one and ended every one of them saddened that once again we had not succeeded in becoming pregnant.

 

After many months of this, it was agreed I should have another laparoscopy to remove the endometriosis and drill the cysts on my ovaries. The procedure was a success and soon afterwards I fell pregnant. However, despite being on hormone support, that baby was not for this earth. My third miscarriage was toughest of all, not only had my husband and I lost our baby but our little girl had lost her sibling.

 

As time passed, my hope remained for that second baby, but the guilt began to grow also – shouldn’t I just grateful for having one child? Should I be focusing more on my little girl than on our hope to have a sibling for her?

 

Yet, despite these thoughts, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I would have another baby.

 

More than three years had passed from the day I started back on the fertility treatment. It was another unsuccessful month and I was sitting with tears in my eyes when my husband turned to me and said we had to give up. We had tried our best but he couldn’t watch me suffer any longer; the charting, medications, injections and emotional heartache were just too much.

 

Following some time out, a lovely family break with our little girl and many, many conversations we agreed to stop trying to conceive. We had this conversation in August and I agreed to return to the fertility clinic in October to discuss options for another laparoscopy and look at the long-term treatment options for my own conditions.

 

We never did make it for that consultation; instead, we had an eight-week scan in early October.

 

Our not trying to conceive had resulted in us becoming pregnant that September. It was by no means an easy pregnancy - there were a number of complications and I was closely monitored throughout. Right to the day our little one was born, we were kept on our toes, with our little one getting distressed and having just one minute to be delivered.

 

The whole time I was thinking:“We have gotten you this far, you are going to make it.” And she did! Our little girl now had a sister and I truly felt like the luckiest, most blessed mother in the world to have two precious little miracle children.