How do you know you’re old? Kid’s slang is Greek to you

I’ve heard the word "fleek" twice this week.

 

Once was in the movie Zoolander 2 (very silly, very funny), and the other time was when my 11-year-old daughter used it while talking to her brother. And he understood.

 

I would love to say that I am completely up-to-date with modern slang and can converse with preteens and teenagers without fear of embarrassment or plain confusion, but I had no clue what "fleek" means.

 

This is because I am old.

 

In teenager world, I am a relic, a historical figure, a quaint and often humiliating throwback to the days of cassette tapes and legwarmers.

 

When you are an adult of such advanced years, your ability to keep up with slang seems to hit a wall. It’s almost as if you got as far as using 'cool' on a regular basis and then gave up.

 

I have decided, however, to do a spring clean of my lingo and swap some of my outdated jargon for the latest lines.

 

Let’s start with "fleek".

 

You are no doubt yawning as I explain a term that everybody knows, but bear with me - I might spare you some humiliation the next time you’re hanging with your teenager. First of all, "on fleek" is a great alternative to "cool", which, by the way, you must stop using immediately. Say something like “your hair is like so on fleek!”

 

Once you get into the habit of using “fleek,” you might want to vary your vocabulary somewhat so that you don’t sound like a broken record (although that doesn't stop teenagers using “like” as, like, every second word - probably because they don’t know what a broken record is…). Instead of “on fleek,” try using “on point” occasionally: “Your shoes are really on point.”

 

The boys don’t get left out either: I’ve caught Junior Cert joking that he’s got “swag".

 

When I was his age, “swag” denoted the loot bags of burglars in cartoons.

 

Now, apparently, the very fact that he knows how to use it in a modern context means he has infinitely more "swag" than I have.

 

We haven’t even mentioned the use of text speak in conversation. TBH, it’s all getting a bit cray-cray. SMH.