I was told I was ruining motherhood for myself

I didn’t breastfeed either of my children.

It wasn’t because I couldn’t, it’s because I wouldn’t.

There, I said it.

I chose not to breastfeed because I wasn’t comfortable with the notion.

I can’t exactly explain why, but I just knew that the prospect of nursing my children would have a detrimental effect on my emotional wellbeing and I didn’t want anything to taint mine or my child’s experience.

I was met with a barrage of criticism from friends and family who couldn’t understand my reasoning – which is fair enough because I couldn’t offer any in particular.

All I knew was that I wasn’t comfortable with it and it was likely to cause me distress - something I was certain my infant would pick up on.

I never felt I missed out on anything and more importantly, I never felt my children did either.

Feeding my children are memories I will always cherish.

Their smell, their weight and the ridiculously cute snuffling noises both of them made as if to indicate contentment is forever ingrained in my memory.

“You’re missing out on one of the most important parts of motherhood,” my mother lamented.

Really? I don’t see how.

I mean, my child nestled into the crook of my arm, they drank their fill and I crooned softly as they relaxed and gazed up at me.

“You’ll regret it,” a friend warned.

How so?

I mean, music often played in the background and if we were in the house I always made sure to sit in the same chair in their nursery.

It was always a special moment.

Was the moment tainted because I hadn’t bared my breast?

Not in my opinion.

I can still see their fingers curling and uncurling with delight as they suckled from a bottle with their name on it.

I can hear their gurgles, smell that milky scent and feel their weight across my body.

Are those memeories any less important or special because I had a bottle in my hand at the time?

Well, they shouldn't be.

Mums make various decisions regarding our children's welfare on a daily basis - it's in the job description.

As long as your choice suits you and your child, why worry about anyone else's?