I'm OK; you're definitely not OK

There are times when my kids leave me with the unavoidable impression that one of their main aims in life is to make mine as difficult as possible. You may have had similar experiences yourself.

 

Your teen announces he needs a set square for technical graphics (formerly known as mechanical drawing), and you enquire as to the date this equipment is required, only to be told that said set square should have been in his bag at the start of the school year, six months previous.

 

You fantasise about the 32-minute lie-in you're going to get on Saturday before tackling the filthy hovel that your house has become in the past seven days, only to be told that your sporadically keen footballer needs to be at a freezing pitch on the other side of the county before dawn.

 

The ages/activities/oversights may vary from family to family, but the persistent theme seems to be an overriding intent on the part of children to sabotage the plans of their parents.

 

I was struck by this constant of parenting the other evening, as I nagged my Leaving Certer about his prioritisation of the ‘break’ aspect of the midterm break. I knew I was nagging by the way his brain visibly switched off, leaving those adorable eyes politely, but blankly, fixed on me.

 

Undaunted, I bleated on about the amount of time he was spending on his Xbox and Netflix; about the need to get to bed before 2am; about his lack of a basic study plan.

 

“There are 105 days to go!” This was my parting shot; a declaration I was sure would lead to blind panic and an immediate scamper upstairs to the books. I could not have been more mistaken.

 

“Thank God,” he grinned and sauntered off to cram in Season Two of House of Cards.

 

My frustration reached its whiny peak in the car last night.

 

“Sometimes I think you believe I have no feelings whatsoever!” I announced.

 

The middle child thought about this for a second.

 

“Oh, I know you do,” he replied calmly. “I just choose to disregard them.”

 

It was then I realised that my teenagers are not trying to sabotage my life: Right now, they just don't care. And I'm fine with that.

 

Really.