Life as a mother with endometriosis

Over the last decade, I have experienced many aches and pains due to a number of fertility issues. These pains were both physically and emotionally draining at times, however, unlike some who experience such fertility issues, I came out the other side with two beautiful daughters.

 

The birth of my second daughter marked a turning point for me; although I would be only too delighted to become pregnant again, I now fell content that my struggle to conceive is now over. Although I am eternally grateful for my two little miracles, this doesn’t take away the physical pains I still encounter on a regular basis due to my conditions.

 

I suffer from Endometriosis, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and low progesterone. As a sufferer of such conditions, and of endometriosis in particular, there are times when I experience the worst pains imaginable. The pains are knife-stabbingly sharp and at times I can even feel the twist of that metaphorical knife before one sharp pain ends and another begins.

 

When the stabbing has ceased, it leaves behind the worst aching and cramping. The cramps can run from my front, right around the lower back, along my sides and down my thighs. When someone asks if I am not feeling well or what's wrong, all I can say (if it is someone close enough to me that is enquiring) is it's my time of the month and I get that empathetic smile of “it’s a man’s world”!

 

I understand why I get such empathy as most women suffer so much during a bad period but for an endometriosis sufferer those pains are excruciating at times.

 

No mother wants their children to be aware of any aspect of the ‘facts of life’ at just four years of age but my daughter often asks “Are you sick again, Mammy?” knowing my “sickness” is somewhat of a regular occurrence. At these times I fight back the tears, not wanting her to know the level of pain I am feeling.

 

As a mother who suffers from many fertility conditions I also have the added guilt (a guilt that is difficult to shake) of knowing there are so many other endometriosis sufferers who would give anything to have one baby, let alone two beautiful children. This guilt does silence me somewhat as I know just how lucky I am, therefore feel I shouldn't complain about the pains.

 

But if I have a stomach ulcer or suffer a migraine, should I not complain just because I am lucky enough to have children? Pain is pain irrespective of the cause; however, there is still a lack of awareness regarding the pain and suffering caused by endometriosis. I hope by speaking out that others too won't be afraid to say; “I suffer from Endometriosis and I'm in pain today!”#

Tomorrow, however, will be better and for me I have my girls to keep me looking forward in the knowledge that the pain will fade and their smiles always remain.