Mum Musings on the loo

So there I was sitting on the loo (as you do) scrolling through Facebook (as you do) when it suddenly dawned on me - I was alone. Completely and utterly solo.

 

For the first time I could recall in almost a decade, I had managed to do what a person normally does in a bathroom without a single interruption. There was no small person there demanding I intervene in a row, or pour a juice, or change the TV channel from Peppa Pig to Spongebob. I had managed to go to the loo in complete privacy and that is no mean feat for a mum.

 

Why is it that children have an inbuilt detector alarm that tells them when Mother Dear is on the phone, at a critical point in a dinner recipe or simply on the loo, and determines this is the right time to throw a tantrum, argue with a sibling or want to cling to your leg? 

 

I've always tried to raise my children to be independent; after all there will come a day when they flee the nest (rent and property prices permitting) and all you'll get is a cursory visit on a Sunday. I want to equip them with the skills to think on their own, find solutions to problems and pay their way but now I'd had a fleeting glimpse into the future and if I'm completely honest it left me feeling a little cold.

 

When our kids are tiny they rely on us for absolutely everything and although it can be utterly draining, it’s also reassuring and somehow feels like mother nature at her best. That complete reliance and interdependence feeds the all consuming, utterly bewitching and life affirming bond of love between parent and child. As they grow from newborn to wobbler to toddler there's a mutual sense of pride at all those little accomplishments from first steps to feeding themselves through to toilet training but mammies and daddies are still safe in the knowledge that they're still needed.

 

On the flip side that dependence means we're 'always on' and nothing – not even a date with the telly or a trip to the loo – can be guaranteed without interruption.  But with the advancing years comes a multitude of change for both parent and child and at varying times things will be more difficult and then seem more easy.

 

So if you're feel like you've been burning the parenting candle at both ends and in the middle; if you’re wrung out, stressed out and craving some alone time then rest assured the day will come when you can enjoy your own company again and take it from me that's not always a good thing.

 

EDIT: Immediately after completing this blog post, I headed upstairs for a hot shower, safe in the knowledge that my three kids (aged 12, 10 & 6) were well able to take care of themselves for 10 minutes. Within that timeframe the door was nearly hammered down four times and there I was intervening in rows again. Maybe 'me time' is a little further off than I thought...

 

Tara Duggan is a 40-something mum-of-3 from north Dublin, and a journalist and presenter with Newstalk radio. She's glad to be past the nappy years but is now staring adolescence in the face and not looking forward to it.

 

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