My partner threatened to vomit when I revealed our big news

Anyone who saw the video clip of 3-year-old Kathryn’s reaction to the news she was about to come a big sister will have undoubtedly chuckled and cooed over the innocence of children.

For anyone who hasn’t seen this snapshot into family life, let me quickly fill you in.

Upon hearing she was about to gain a younger brother or sister, the adorable little girl looked relatively nonplussed, stared at her father and confided: “I just farted.”

So far, so infantile. Now imagine if the father had given that same response when his wife had divulged her good news. Kind of hard to picture, right?

Not if you’re me.

While not deciding to pass gas at the same moment I informed him he was about to be a dad, my partner did, upon hearing the news, gulp, stare at me and whisper: “I might be sick.”

What?

Did he mean now? At the labour? Or did I have the misfortune of timing my good news with my partner’s decision to reveal a life-threatening illness?

Either way, I didn’t care.

This was not the time to refer to gastric expulsions and he should have bitten his tongue, taken a deep breath and said the right thing.

I was terrified enough without hearing that the imminent arrival of our first-born could bring about a puking fit worthy of a stag night.

While Kathryn’s father was reduced to gales of laughter at his daughter’s disregard for the exciting news, I was reduced to tears at my partner’s.

Not because I thought he didn’t want to begin a family with me.

Not because I thought he wasn’t capable of being a wonderful father.

But because I thought there must be something wrong with me that I saw fit to pick a partner who was incapable of saying the right thing at the right time.

In case we ever have another child together, I’ve taught him a little mantra which he recites from time to time in order to prove he’s grown as a human.

“Grin first, hug second, puke on your own time.”

He’s yet to put it in to action, but I’ve heard him practising.