Texts and my mother-in-law: 10 I received last week
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MummyBloggers
Let me preface this blog post by saying that my mother-in-law is a much-loved and hugely respected member of our family.
Not only did she accept me like one of her own when I first starting dating her son, after getting engaged she was the first person after my own mum who I wanted to tell.
And while I respect her in innumerable ways and felt genuine delight when I learned she'd be moving a stone's throw from ours, there are times when I find myself laughing helplessly at her.
An incredibly practical, intelligent and level-headed woman, it seems all that disappears the moment she lays hands on her mobile phone.
I have lost count of the number of the number of messages and phone calls I have recieved from her which warrant hours of interpretation before receiving a second text clarifying her first.
Here are just ten (yes, just ten) I have gotten off her in the last seven days.
1. “Breasts in the oven.”
Follow up: “Chicken. CHICKEN!”
2. “I thought LOL was lots of love”
Follow up: “I wrote LOL at the end of the text I sent Essie about her late husband.”
3. “You won't believe who died.”
Follow-up “God forgive me, it's not a game.”
4. “What is F.I.S.H”
“Wait, I know now. Your son needs his mouth washing out.”
5. “Will we go for lattes on Sunday with the little one?”
Follow-up: “Wait, do I like lattes?”
6. “Can't tonight. Piles everywhere.”
Follow-up: “Delete that. I forgot to write 'of laundry'”
7. “Don't mind him. I always thought you had a lovely bum.”
Follow-up: “Is that what a girl crush is all about?”
8. “Turn it down when it starts boiling, but don't forget the lid.”
Follow-up: “Sorry, that was meant to go in the notes section of this yoke.”
9. “Can't return floral curtains, will you take them for your front room?”
Follow-up: “They're bloody awful-looking, but please.”
10. “What's weather like there?”
Follow-up: “Sometimes, I think you might have better luck over the road.”
