The 'first' that I really wanted to the be a 'last'

A baby’s first year contains many firsts: first smile, first step, first tooth, first word. And the list of firsts doesn’t culminate on the first birthday, but goes on and on into first cars and beyond.

 

This list of firsts isn’t made purely of moments to photograph and treasure forever; it also contains the ones you’d prefer to forget such as the first explosive nappy, the first bump on the head, the first uncontrollable tantrum.

 

A few Fridays ago, another of these unpleasant firsts threw our household into brief and revolting turmoil. The Winter Vomiting Bug came a-calling, choosing the two-year-old as its target.

 

The vomiting began early in the morning with a projectile river of regurgitated milk; the second round arrived shortly afterwards on the school run. Cue a panicked pull over to side of the road, hazard lights flashing, child screaming, the smells of hell inundating the car, followed by a hasty clean up with the only thing available (my scarf) and a quick drive home.

 

The rest of the day consisted of more of the same, plus worrying that if I didn’t watch over her for every single second of her unnaturally long nap that she might get sick and choke. Cuddling up to watch Beauty and the Beast, I Googled 'dehydration in toddlers,' ignoring advice to feed the child flat Lucozade. I also realised I was getting so used to vomit that my usually hyper-sensitive gag reflex gave up and retired.

 

That evening, with the recovering child in bed, we set about dismantling the car seat, a dreaded task due to the manufacturer’s intent on making it as difficult and complicated as possible.

 

Finally, with the curdled car seat cover making its rounds in the washing machine, I knelt on the kitchen floor, and settled down with a pile of ear buds to clean vomit out of the nooks and crannies of the car seat.