The highs and lows in the search for childcare

I started back to full time work last week after months of stressing, organising, researching and panicking about finding childcare.

 

It started with me worrying that I’d be forced to get a loan out of the credit union before I’d even done a day of work, just to cover all the deposits and up-front fees required by crèches in my neighbourhood.

 

On visiting a crèche with dark rooms and the atmosphere of a dungeon for toddlers I thought I would probably go insane with guilt and despair if I dropped the small one off there for nine hours every day.

 

I almost cried with frustration when I visited a beautiful playschool with gardens and smiling happy children and found out that they followed the primary school calendar and closed for two months in the summer and during all other school holidays.

 

Then I thought I had the perfect solution when I found a local childminder who one of my best friends had known forever and could highly recommend.

 

But then I returned to panic mode when she said she could only child mind a few days per week.

 

Miraculously, my parents stepped in and offered to child mind one day a week and I cried Hallelujah and shouted thank you thank you!

 

But then research came out that said grandparents child-minding for more than sixty hours a month are more likely to suffer from depression. I felt guilty again.

 

Still short a childminder for one day of work, I went, cap in hand, to my future boss to ask if I could work Saturdays instead of Mondays thereby leaving the dad in charge of the kids that day. She agreed. Gratitude and more relief.

 

So there I was, last week, about to start work, all the child care finally organised and I realized I’d been so worried about finding childcare I forget to think about how we would all cope with the transition. Panic, guilt, and a pinch of sadness swept over me.

 

Returning to work? It’s a rollercoaster.