The meaning behind a hug off another mum

There are times when I have my head in the game as a mum and then there’s every single other day.

While I’ve come to terms with this and accept myself for who I am, I clearly don’t expect other people to have followed suit.

 

This is probably why I found myself apologising profusely to the mother of Joshua’s classmate when she called over unannounced late last week.

In my more lucid moments, I can assure myself there’s nothing wrong with a messy house nor is it any reflection on my skills as a mother, but then there are times like last Friday afternoon.

As she stood in the hall, I allowed her voice to fade into the background as I attempted to subtly tidy up around her.

In a faux jovial voice, I heartily apologised for the mess and then cringed as I realised how just bad it was.

Everywhere I looked, I saw mess. Discarded homework sheets which hadn’t made their way to the bin, breakfast dishes I hadn’t gotten around to that morning before work and an overturned dog bowl by the back door.

I pretended to listen as I frantically tidied things away and wondered what she thought of me, but every time I slid something out of the way, I’d appear to unearth another hidden ‘delight’.

I mean, if it was a sitcom, you’d dismiss it as far-fetched.

Eventually I just gave up and sat down, but even as she chattered away I found my eyes darting around the kitchen. I couldn’t relax and she knew it.

And do you know what the worst thing is?

This woman is by no means judgemental and I’d almost consider her a friend, and yet here I was assuming the worst of her.

Did I really think she’d scuttle across the school yard the following Monday and tell everyone Joshua’s mum was a good-for-nothing housekeeper who could barely locate a clean glass in her scattered kitchen?

Well, yes I did.

I hated myself for it and I’m well aware it’s more a reflection on me than on her, but I couldn’t help it.

I want to be the perfect mum who can host unannounced guests with aplomb, but I need warning! I need a week’s notice and even then I’ll reschedule.

As I saw her to the front door, my cheeks prickled with embarrassment as she gingerly stepped over a small pile of dirty socks I’d ask Grace to bring down from her room and which, for reasons best known to herself, she had left on the hall table, just waiting for me to dash them off in annoyance.

Which, of course, I had.

Stepping into the driveway, my unannounced guest impulsively turned around and gave me a particularly tight hug before heading off.

She knew and I knew.

We all know, right?