The mistake of crossing the threshold

It’s Week Four of preschool for our son and each morning that I’ve dropped him off he’s gone in with a smile on his face telling me, “I will see you after my lunch”.  After him being at home with me for the last four years, I won’t deny we were worried when he began his first day but thankfully he proved us wrong and he loves it. Today though, he wasn’t so happy and it’s all because I crossed the threshold…

 

Yesterday I walked him to school like every other day and before I headed off with his little sister, the teacher called me over to sign some forms. I was as quick as I could, but as I stepped outside, my son looked at me with a quivering lip “Mammy, why are you here?” I reassured him I was leaving and would see him after his lunch, gave him a ‘thumbs up’ and he returned the same. As I walked away, I hoped he would be alright and knew the teachers would make sure he was.

 

Once it was time to collect him, I was looking forward to hearing about his day. As the door opened one of his teachers approached me to tell me he was a little upset after I left. He’d asked them to call me, which they told him they did but I was delayed because his sister had a dirty nappy. After a little play time all was forgotten and he was great. I was delighted when she spoke to me without him knowing and that they dealt with it the way that they did. Once he came out he questioned where I was and I repeated the story and all was grand.

 

Today while we were getting ready he questioned why I was in the school yesterday and I told him it was just to help his teachers with something and he was ok with that. On the way to school, as we walked, he said he could get the teacher to phone me to remind me to collect him after his lunch. I reassured him that there was no need to remind me as I’d always collect him after lunch like I do every day and again, he was fine.

 

Once we got to the school it was a different story and his tears began! He said he didn’t want to go to school; that he wanted to go home as he was too tired. My heart broke for him I sat down next to him and tried to console him as best I could. Every moment I spoke, I willed the door to open so he wasn’t upset longer. Those moments seemed an eternity. Finally as I looked up there was the teacher and she took his hand and reassured him as I knew she would. Not long after I got home, I received a message letting me know he was grand.

 

While I wait now to collect him my heart aches and all I want to do is cuddle him. Yesterday I crossed a line, I walked into his territory. I stepped into a world that is just for him and I wish I could take it back.

 

Eimear Kelly has worked in hospitality and recruitment but considers becoming a stay-at-home mum to her two children, Logan and Elise, her best career move. Becoming a mum has inspired her to believe in herself and follow her dreams. You can read more from Eimear on her blog Chirps from a Little Red Hen.

 

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