Two different mothers with two totally different attitudes

Sitting in a coffee shop on a recent Sunday afternoon, taking advantage of a couple of child-free hours to enjoy the papers, it was brought home to me, not for the first time, how much we as parents shape the adults that our children grow into.

 

The cafe, located in a busy suburban Cork shopping centre, was bustling with Christmas shoppers and the few staff on duty that day were obviously under pressure.

 

One mother with two children who looked about eight and ten years old brusquely ordered a harassed young staff member to clear the table that she wanted to sit at.

 

There were a number of free, cleared tables close by but she chose to sit at one that was piled with dirty cups and plates.

 

She didn’t thank the girl for clearing and wiping down the table. Her children watched on, learning from their parent about how to treat people.

 

Shortly after that another mother came along with three slightly younger children and seated them at the table beside me while her husband queued at the counter. Again this table had not been cleared off, but it was the only free one large enough to accommodate her family.

 

The second mother’s approach could not have been more different.

 

“Would you mind clearing off this table when you get a minute, please?” she asked pleasantly.

 

When the young waitress returned with her tray to collect the plates, she apologised for the mess.

 

“It’s not your fault at all,” the mother replied. “You’re run off your feet, let me help you.”

 

Her children watched on and helped their mother to pile the dishes onto the tray.Two different mothers with two totally different attitudes in terms of respecting others, both with young children soaking it all in.

 

I always try to treat young staff members the way I would like my own children to be treated when they are older and working in cafes or shops to earn a few bob to keep themselves going.

 

And take it from someone who knows, there are all sorts of ways and means of getting the nasty customers back. I worked in a supermarket at weekends and during holidays all through college and there was one particularly rude, unpleasant woman who every week, without fail, made a beeline for my till with her trolley every week.

 

She was always complaining about something or other despite the good service she got as a regular customer. Every week, she bought cream cakes in the in-store bakery and boy, did I take great pleasure in squashing those cakes into a gooey mess in the bag as I packed them. 

 

Michelle McDonagh is a freelance journalist working from Blarney, Co Cork. She’s a mum of three children aged 2, 4 and 5, and a firm believer in 'good enough' parenting, bribery and the healing powers of chocolate.

 

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