What do you expect coming from a council estate?

It’s very easy to judge people, and maybe more so when you’re a parent. Perhaps we don’t like our child's friends; or even the neighbourhood they come from.

 

I brought my children up living on a small council estate in Donegal. I loved my home and I had some very good neighbours at the time. But other people outside our immediate area judged us because of where we lived.

 

My youngest son was in junior infants. He and a friend got in trouble one day in school and we, his parents, were sent for. I went along to the school and apologised on my son’s behalf, assuring the teacher that he would be punished at home and for her to carry out whatever punishment she felt necessary within school. The said boy accepted his wrongdoing and apologised for his actions.

 

The other boy involved was also called to the school alongside his parents. It was a short while after this that the teacher told me the other boy’s parents blamed my son as the ringleader and they said, “what do you expect coming from a council estate?” Those words always stuck with me.

 

A few days after this, I was leaving my older boy to football training. The youngest was grounded for two weeks and so, wasn’t allowed to train. He did however come along in the car as I dropped his brother to the pitch. While we were driving away the child noticed that his ‘partner in crime’ from school was at training. Clearly there was no grounding done there. I guess if you’re not from a ‘council estate’ then there’s no need for punishment.

 

I, as a parent, have always encouraged my boys never to judge a book by its cover. Fortunately this seems to remain instilled in them as they reach teenage years and college age.

 

I couldn’t help but laugh last week when the same youngest son gave me some of my own advice. I was discussing the cons of Fifty Shade of Grey with a friend (maybe I was preaching a little), when the kiddo asked me: ‘Mum have you been to see the film yet?’

 

I immediately replied ‘No, it’s not for me,’ and then he hit me with it: ‘Excuse me, Mum, but you always told us never to judge a book by its cover. Why don’t you go and see that film and then you’ll be entitled to criticise it.’ Heck, I didn’t see that one coming.

 

The young man not only has manners, but has a mind of his own and is teaching me, his mother, not to be so judgemental. You could say he’s doing ok for being brought up on a council estate.

 

My husband and I almost sold our house a few years ago. But we changed our mind at the last minute. We know our neighbours. We like our neighbours. Many of our neighbours are still council residents. That doesn’t define them. And thanks to my children I’m not allowed to judge.

 

So for now, I’m proud to live where I do. I’m proud of my children for their respect and their non-judgemental outlook. And I guess I may have to go see a certain film one day soon and reserve judgement on it until I do.

 

If there’s one lesson we teach our children, let it be never to judge a book by its cover. Sometimes the shabbiest cover hides a wealth of knowledge.