Why only having one child is not the end of the world

Last updated: 07/05/2015 11:45 by JillianGlancy to JillianGlancy's Blog
Filed under: MummyBloggers
When I got married I always thought I would have two children. I got married the week I turned 25, which was quite young by today’s standards when so many women get married in their thirties. I naively thought I would have two children close in age, but to be honest, I wasn’t too fussy once I had happy healthy children. Fast forward several years later and the expression “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans” comes to mind.
 
Not long after my daughter was born, I became separated so there was no way a second child was ever going to happen.  But still, I feel lucky. Even if other people can’t possibly understand why I’m happy to have “just one child”.
My daughter Lucy is five now and is the happiest, loveliest child you could meet. I feel blessed. I am blessed. I know this and never ever take it for granted. It must be heart wrenching to want to have a baby and not know the feeling of motherhood.
 
If I had never become a mum then I would never know how wonderful it feels when your tiny little person peeks in the door at 7am in their pyjamas and asks if they can snuggle in the “big bed” with you;  I wouldn’t have had tears in my eyes as I watched her bursting with pride on stage playing her first piano recital and I wouldn’t know what it is like to put someone else first. ALL. THE. TIME.
 
I know there are many women who are desperate to have a baby. Women who have tried for 10 years to get pregnant, and still no baby. Couples who try expensive IVF fertility treatment, which takes its toll on them both financially and emotionally. This is why I feel genuinely annoyed when people I meet in the supermarket say things like “you can’t just have one child” or “you’ll have to have another one”. Really? Will I? I didn’t realise children were like socks and had to come in pairs.
 
Truth be told, I am quite happy with my lot. It wasn’t my plan to have an only child, but it is the way things are. I remember a few years ago being told by a career woman who was a jet setting, single woman with no children, that having one child was incredibly selfish. I was astounded. I do feel one-child guilt sometimes, but I’m not about to have a second child just for the sake of it or to make everyone else happy. With the marriage referendum looming, it’s safe to say that there is no such thing as a ‘one size fits all’ family of 2.4 children. 
 
At the end of the day, my daughter is happy, healthy and full of life, so despite what some people think, it’s not the end of the world. As for me, I’m just a normal busy mum, trying to do the best I can (like ALL mums) and that’s good enough for me. 
 
Jillian Glancy is a freelance journalist and expert tea drinker. When she's not playing Princesses with her four-year-old, she can be found running around like a headless chicken, trying to figure out how to do it all and realising it's not quite possible.
 
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