Challenges of becoming a new mum

When I became pregnant for the first time, I was beyond excited. I bought every maternity magazine available and read parenting books from cover to cover. I even HIGHLIGHTED passages in the books. Yes, reader, I really did. I dreamt about creating the perfect nursery. I was going to be a brilliant mum, the mum I had always dreamed of. Hooray!

 

Fast forward nine months, and the reality was entirely different. Oh dear. The bubble had to burst at some point didn’t it? It was all fine until my husband went back to work. I remember he flew to New York for three days for a business trip and for the first time since my baby was born, I was on my own. Three. Whole. Days.

 

My daughter was not a good sleeper. This wasn’t helped by the fact that every mum I met in the supermarket said their baby was “very good” and “slept through the night.”  I looked at them with bewilderment and wondered what I was doing wrong.

The books said baby should feed every three hours as this was a good way to establish a routine. I liked routine. Routine would be my friend.  Unfortunately no one told my baby that.

 

Baby Lucy just wanted to do her own thing and fed ‘on demand,’ which is not recommended by the way, but try explaining that to a newborn. I tried everything and anything, but nothing seemed to work. In the end I felt like a failure. This was not the way it was meant to be. Or was it?

 

One thing nobody tells you about becoming a new mum is that it can be lonely. You’re trying to do it all, and make it look effortless, while smiling at the constant stream of visitors like a crazy person.  So, I went online. I found a forum for mums to meet up in my area. I had no sisters or family nearby, and none of my friends had children, so I really needed to connect with other mums in the same boat.

 

The day came to meet up and I was nervous. I was totally out of my comfort zone.  What if they didn’t like me? What if I wasn’t like the other mums?  I needn’t have worried. We had tea, compared war stories, exchanged tips and had a giggle. I made new friends and realised none of us are perfect mums, we’re just normal mums, and that’s okay. 

 

Perfection is overrated anyway.

 

Jillian Glancy is a freelance journalist and expert tea drinker. When she's not playing Princesses with her four-year-old daughter, she can be found running around like a headless chicken, trying to figure out how to do it all and realising it's not quite possible.

 

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